Have You Met My Kids?

As a soon-to-be wannabe health professional, I’d like to remind you that even the most elegant of people — yes, even women — need to do this thing with euphemisms or dysphemisms such as dropping the kids off at the pool, checking yesterday’s dinner, testing the plumbing, laying cables, baking brownies, etc. (Thank you, Google and Wikipedia.) But to us soon-to-be wannabe health professionals, we refer to it exclusively as defaecation. You may or may not know that defaecation can be a dangerous event as your blood pressure drops, which can result in hypotension and explains why some people literally die on the toilet. But really, it’s only natural.

… Which also completely explains why I’m now sitting here my face all screwed up because a neighbour may or may not be standing somewhat near my toilet window and if I can hear what they’re doing outside they can hear what’s happening inside, yeah?

Shittttt. (Oh Vickie, a pun. I’m so proud of you.)

5 thoughts on “Have You Met My Kids?”

  1. You crack me up ! ROFLMAO
    It is rather scary that you can die there… I mean I had a few near fainting experiences afterwards, but to die… Now I’m scared. *sniffles pityfully*

  2. Holy shit! (Golly, another pun. I’m proud of myself too.)

    This is one warning I have to take heed seriously because … I don’t shit often. Hahahahahahaha. Bet you didn’t need to know that.

    Meanwhile … PUUUUUSHHHHHH!

  3. Too funny! I remember the first time I lived with a girl. I was in my early twenties and didn’t have a lot of money so we had a small one bedroom apartment. The bathroom was right off the bedroom and I remember that it was so small that I could lean forward on the toilet and reach the faucet. I would turn on the water when I was “defecating” and I felt that it was going to get “loud”. LOL. A few months after we moved in together, she told me that she knew all along I was doing that because she did the same thing! Your post btought back that memory. Thanks.

    P.S. She’s my wife now and I fart in front of her as she does in front of me. How the romance fades…LMAO

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: